The Power of Owning Our Regrets

Life moves fast. In the whirlwind of obligations, insecurities, and distractions, we sometimes make decisions we later wish we hadn’t. We let opportunities slip by - moments to show up, to celebrate, to connect. And while we can’t turn back time, we can always revisit those choices with honesty, humility, and heart.

Recently, I was chatting about courage with a group of women. We were sharing stories of courage and one lady shared a story that  she was so proud of and it struck a cord for me.  She shared that two years after missing a close relative’s overseas wedding. She circled back to that relative - out of the blue - to acknowledge her regret. She admitted that life got in the way, that it was a big ask at the time, and that she allowed her priorities to take over. But more than the admission, it was her sincerity & courage that struck me. You could feel it had weighed on her heart, and in finally voicing it, something unspoken was healed. That simple act—an apology—had incredible power.

It made me pause and reflect on a regret of my own that was actually very similar circumstances. Perhaps, it is why her story resonated so deeply for me. Years ago, I was invited to a relative’s overseas birthday celebration - a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It was a chance to honor a family member, and celebrate with my family. But I let fear and insecurity take the wheel. I worried about not having the "right" clothes, about the cost of flights and hotels. The truth? I didn’t feel worthy or that I would fit in with their friends. So I stayed home, safe in my comfort zone—but missing something irreplaceable. I regret that decision to this day.

What I’ve come to realize is that family - while never perfect - is the one constant in our lives. Challenging at times, yes, but also a grounding force, a mirror, a home. And as I grow older, I understand more and more the importance of showing up. For birthdays, for weddings, for the small and the sacred moments that make up a life.

Regret doesn’t have to be the end of the story. It can be a doorway back to connection—if we’re brave enough to walk through it.

So here’s my invitation to you: Take a moment. Think about a time you didn’t show up—physically or emotionally. Something left unsaid. Someone you let down. Sit with it, not in shame, but in honesty. And if your heart calls you to, reach out. Say what’s been on your mind. Clear your conscience. I believe, with my whole heart, that your words - if sincere - will be received with grace.

There’s beauty in taking responsibility. There’s power in showing we care, even years later. And there’s healing - for both you and the person on the other end.

We’re all just trying to be better. Let’s start by being real - with ourselves and each other.