The Perspective That Comes With Time

There is something about fall that makes me want to slow down.

Maybe it's the changing leaves. Maybe it's the cooler mornings, the earlier sunsets, or simply the feeling that another season is turning.

Fall seems to invite reflection.

And lately, I've been thinking about how much perspective changes as

we get older.

When we're young, we often feel like we know a lot.

At 20, we think we're adults.

At 30, we have careers, relationships, maybe children of our own, and we're pretty sure we've figured some things out.

And in many ways, we have.

But what we don't yet have is time.

Time to experience things we couldn't have imagined. Time to make decisions and live with the consequences. Time to have our hearts broken, be surprised, change our minds, make mistakes, start over, lose people, love people, and discover that sometimes there isn't one right answer.

Life happens.

And slowly, our perspective changes.

We begin to realize that there is more than one way to see a situation.

That our way isn't always the way.

That the person sitting across from us may be looking at the exact same circumstances through an entirely different lens.

And maybe that's one of the gifts of getting older.

We can step back.

Take the 30,000-foot view.

Pause before reacting.

Ask ourselves:

What might I be missing?

How might this look from their perspective?

What would I think about this five years from now?

I'm thinking about that a lot this season.

Our son and his family are preparing to move out of state. They are excited about the possibilities ahead - new experiences, a new city, and a new chapter for their family.

And I am genuinely happy for them.

And I'm also sad.

There was a time when I might have focused mostly on what I was losing.

But life has given me enough perspective to pause and look at the bigger picture.

When I was in my 30's, Tim and I were making decisions based on what we believed was right for our family. We had dreams and priorities of our own.

Now I'm on the other side of that experience.

I'm the parent watching my child make a decision for his family.

And perhaps the lesson isn't that I should love every part of the change.

It's that I can see it through more than one lens.

I can see my own sadness.

And I can see their excitement.

I can understand what they are gaining without pretending I won't miss what

I'm losing.

I can be disappointed and still be supportive.

I can wish things were different and still trust that they get to make their

own choices.

Both perspectives can be true.

Maybe that's what time gives us.

Not all the answers.

Not perfect wisdom.

But the ability to pause long enough to realize that our first reaction isn't necessarily the whole story.

I don't expect to agree with every perspective I hear. But I have become increasingly certain that I don't know it all - and that makes me want to listen.

I want to understand how someone else arrived where they are, even when I ultimately see things differently.

Because every time I look through another person's lens, I learn something.

And I think that makes me a wiser person.

This Fall, Get Curious

Where in your life could you step back and take the 30,000-foot view?

Whose perspective might you understand better if you listened without trying to change their mind?

What might you learn if you allowed yourself to be curious rather than certain?

You don't have to agree with another person's perspective to appreciate seeing the world through their lens. You may still hold your own beliefs. You may even walk away seeing things exactly as you did before.

But understanding another point of view expands the picture - and perhaps expands us, too.

Maybe one of the greatest gifts of growing older is becoming curious enough to see differently.

And perhaps that is one of the most valuable things time can give us:

Perspective.

"The older we get, the less we need to be right - and the more we want to understand."